Fiction...

015 - Zoe

2010-01-24T21:21:00.002+11:00

In one way I enjoy this.
But I don't know who I am anymore.
Is that a good or bad thing?

015 - Eliza

2010-01-24T21:14:00.002+11:00

I miss Ben. I miss him every day.
When he died I thought I'd never feel happiness again.
The blackness on that day when I tried to kill myself was suffocating.

But James.
He's not Ben. He's totally different.
But I love him.
I never want him to leave my side.

Though he'll have to say it first.
Can't be too vulnerable.

Love leaves you open for such pain.

015 - Mark & Anna

2010-01-24T21:12:00.002+11:00

Anna's mum took ill this week, so she flew home to see her.
She's been gone almost a week.
I'd forgotten what life was like without her here.
It's not so bad. But I want her home now.

015 - Andrew

2010-01-24T21:11:00.001+11:00

I need to move.
I need to get away from this.
I can't go on in this way any longer.

015 - Cody & Sarah

2010-01-24T21:08:00.001+11:00

I just miss him. Why won't they let me see him?

015 - Giselle

2010-01-24T21:05:00.002+11:00

I couldn't fathom the concept of destroying this life.

But slowly, somewhere, they became cells.

And I did it for him.
I loved him.
I loved him more than life itself.

Obviously.

014 - Zoe

2009-12-08T22:41:00.003+11:00

Some nights I put on my favourite earrings,

My reddest shoes,

And dance until I'm exhausted.

Other nights I sit on the couch in my underwear,

wrapped in a thin blanket,

Reading until I'm exhausted.

I try on hobbies as though they were clothes.
Which should I add to my collection?

014 - Eliza

2009-12-08T22:38:00.002+11:00

My phone rang, and I answered it casually.
It was, unexpectedly, him.
I can't explain how that made me feel.

We spoke until 3am, when I fell asleep, against my will.
He makes me so happy.

014 - Mark & Anna

2009-12-08T22:36:00.002+11:00

Today we both called in sick to our jobs.
We got into the car, and drove until we ran out of petrol.
I don't know where we are, but it's perfect.
She is here.

014 - Andrew

2009-12-08T22:35:00.000+11:00

Did my work take her from me?
Or did she take me from my work?

014 - Cody & Sarah

2009-12-08T22:32:00.002+11:00

I really miss Cody, but I hope he's having fun.
I asked mum when he was coming back but she wouldn't tell me.
It must be a surprise.
I hope he comes home before my birthday!
We're going to build a fort.

014 - Giselle

2009-12-08T22:29:00.002+11:00

His expectations crushed me,
His suggestions disgusted me.

At what point did that change?

I disgust myself.

013 - Zoe

2009-12-07T21:57:00.004+11:00

My favourite newly-found quotation is this:

"'As a general rule,' said Holmes,'the more bizzarre a thing is, the less mysterious it proves to be.'" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's 'The Red-Headed League'

This is true.

But...do I want to prove mysterious?
Or do I want to appear far from the truth?

013 - Eliza

2009-12-07T21:53:00.002+11:00

And so we lay in the park.
We talked for hours.

I feel as if I've known him forever.
He understands me more than anyone.

Well...more than anyone who is still here.

He traces my scars and tells me it's okay to be sad,
And I realise that in time I could love this man.
What a scary thing to admit.

013 - Mark & Anna

2009-12-07T21:49:00.002+11:00

"Anna...you can never go anywhere. Okay?"
"Mark. I love you. I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise me."
"I don't need to. I'm not going anywhere."
"You better not. It hurts too much. I'll die."
"I love you Mark."

I'd tell her I love her back, but those words aren't big enough.

013 - Andrew

2009-12-07T21:47:00.001+11:00

*language*

How the hell did I let her leave.
Fuck, I hate myself.

013 - Cody & Sarah

2009-12-07T21:40:00.002+11:00

I understand now. Mum should have just told me the truth in the first place.

Cody's on holidays in Heaven!
I miss him, but I'm not too jealous. She could have told me.
I can't wait to see him when he comes home!
He's going to have great stories!

013 - Giselle

2009-12-07T21:36:00.002+11:00

The love in his eyes vanished and there flashed moments of disbelief, anger, fear and relief in less than a second.

I looked into his eyes, waiting to hear what the words he chose would be.

"How soon can you get rid of it?"

I got up, and ran away from him.

012 - Zoe

2009-12-07T21:27:00.002+11:00

I work in a bookshop now.
It's small, and sells books that seem to have had another life.
I love it.

The characters in books inspire this new person I am becoming.
I have become.

Am becoming?
Have become?

012 - Eliza

2009-12-07T21:17:00.002+11:00

"Eliza. I'm so glad you met me here."

The entire sky seemed to take on a tinge of happiness.

Somewhere in these moments, though, my past life...my long-dead fiance...dances through my mind, and sadness clouds the edges of my view.

I am happy.
I am sad.
I am...both at once.
I swear I'm normal. (I hope?)

012 - Mark & Anna

2009-12-07T20:58:00.003+11:00

Last night I dreamed that she was gone.
I have never felt such heartache and pain. I can't even describe the sorrow. I wanted to die. These words don't even partially explain it.

I was so convinced that it was real.

I was sobbing in my sleep, when I felt the world literally shake around me.
Anna was trying to wake me up.
Tears stained her own eyes with concern.

I held her and sobbed.
Tears of relief.
Tears of the left over heartache.

012 - Andrew

2009-12-07T20:55:00.002+11:00

At the ATM I saw that my funds had dipped below the all important figure.
Sure, I could live off this for awhile longer...
But no.

I know money doesn't matter in the long run,
But it mattered enough for me to break down in the middle of the street.
Aching for all I have lost.

012 - Cody & Sarah

2009-12-07T20:53:00.001+11:00

Mum told me today that Cody isn't going to come home again.
She cried a lot.

I need to talk to Cody about this.

012 - Giselle

2009-12-07T20:46:00.002+11:00

My life would change, because I was to bear a child.
That's what I thought.

But then I told him.

011 - Zoe

2009-07-15T00:46:00.003+10:00

Zoe. The new me.
I could be anybody I wanted to.

I met my new best friend this week.

Alex.
She makes me feel like Zoe,

Knowing she doesn't know that other person...

Zara...
Helps me forget about her too.

011 - Eliza

2009-07-15T00:44:00.002+10:00

5.50pm. Sitting by the lake.
My heart pounding.
Will he show up?

I pick up a daisy.

He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me.

He loves me not.
He loves me.

He loves me not.

He....

011 - Mark & Anna

2009-07-15T00:42:00.003+10:00

She could be a model, don't you think?
There could be nobody more beautiful.
I have so many photos of the two of us,
And she lights up every one.

011 - Andrew

2009-07-15T00:39:00.001+10:00

I woke up, disoriented. It was 10pm.
There was nothing to be done...

I drove to the pub.
As the liquor washed over me,
The pool of memory became hazier and hazier.

I drunk in the blissful forgetting,

and laughed.

Just 12 hours previous I never thought I would laugh again.

011 - Cody & Sarah

2009-07-15T00:37:00.001+10:00

Today I drew a picture of bird, flying through the air.
I called it Cody.

I can't wait to show it to him!

011 - Giselle

2009-07-15T00:36:00.002+10:00

And that afternoon...

The strip turned pink...

As tears rolled down my cheeks.

010 - Zara

2009-07-08T00:15:00.004+10:00

I absented myself from life for awhile.
I quit my job,
stopped going out to my normal haunts,
and took the time to transform.

And then I moved into a new house,
bought a new wardrobe,

changed my hair,

got a new job,
and started telling people my name was Zoe.

A new person.

010 - Eliza

2009-07-08T00:09:00.002+10:00

Of course today was my turn in the kitchen, away from the customers.
I was going to miss out on seeing him today.

him - "James"

As his name spun joyful circles round my mind, Jenn approached.
She handed me a napkin, with a smile, but no words.

In perfect loops, it read

"I missed you today, Eliza.
Meet me by the lake tonight?
6pm, at the swings.
James"

010 - Mark & Anna

2009-07-08T00:02:00.002+10:00

I woke up this morning and Anna wasn't beside me in bed.
Worry about her overtook me.
I found her in the backyard, sitting in the frosty grass, in just a singlet and shorts.

I tried to put a coat on her, to shelter her from the frozen air.
She shrugged it off.

"The cold reminds me that this is all real."

I picked her up, and carried her back to our room.

"It's real" I breathed into her neck.

010 - Andrew

2009-07-07T23:58:00.003+10:00

The day after my world ended...

I woke up to the alarm I'd forgotten to un-set.
I was about to get up and get ready for work
When it all hit me again

I watched as my clock left my hand and smashed against the wall.
Tears filled my eyes,
I rolled over,
And slept the day away.

010 - Cody & Sarah

2009-07-07T23:51:00.002+10:00

Today Mummy took me to this big, big, house.
We went up in a lift, and there was Cody in a big room.
He was in bed! He shares a bedroom with lots of other kids.
I asked Mummy why he moved, but she said he was just visiting.
He looked sad, curled up, sleeping in his bed. He had a tube up his nose!
I kissed him on the cheek and told him I loved him and we'd play together soon.

010 - Giselle

2009-07-07T23:45:00.002+10:00

As I loitered around the chemist...

Spritzing my wrist with perfume,
Blending different shades of Maybelline Foundation into the back of my hand,
Glancing over my shoulder towards the pregnancy tests...

My heart sunk even further
As the realisation set in.

009 - Eliza

2008-11-23T13:57:00.002+11:00

Today at work I was stocking serviettes,
my back to the counter.

I heard a voice behind me.
"Excuse me."
I turned around and nearly fell over. It was him.

He ordered a coffee,

but as I made it he stayed at the counter, instead of taking a seat.
He made polite conversation, as my heart raced. I have no idea what I said back to him.

"I'm James, by the way."

"Eliza"
"Nice to finally meet you Eliza"

And my heart danced in my chest.

009 - Mark and Anna

2008-11-23T13:54:00.004+11:00

Anna's started going for runs.
She's worried about the weight that newlyweds sometimes put on.

I told her I didn't care if we put on weight,
because we were married,
we were together,
and the world was right.

She smiled that beautiful smile,
Kissed me,
And went running anyway.

I love her so much.
I would love her even if she weighed a thousand pounds.

009 - Andrew

2008-11-23T13:50:00.003+11:00

Today it happened.
Today I have nothing left to live for.

What the hell am I going to do now?

009 - Cody and Sarah

2008-11-23T13:49:00.001+11:00

Mum told me that Cody has gone away for awhile.
I asked why...
And she said he'd gone for a little holiday coz he felt sick.

I hope he comes home soon.

009 - Giselle

2008-11-23T13:40:00.003+11:00

It was the morning I woke up, and had to run to the bathroom.
I knew right then that something was wrong.

Looking back, 'wrong' seems like a terrible misjudgment.

008 - Eliza

2008-09-28T23:36:00.002+10:00

He came into the cafe today,
And everything inside me buzzed at the sight of him.

I watched as he took each sip of his latte,

And turned each page of his book.

He looked up at the end,
He saw me looking at him.

I turned and hurried away,
To the kitchen,
And my head spun with the thought of those eyes.

008 - Mark & Anna

2008-09-28T23:34:00.003+10:00

We had our first fight today.
Over toast.
Can you believe it?

It didn't last long,

But it tore my heart out.

I could have laughed out loud with relief when we were okay again.

008 - Andrew

2008-09-28T23:33:00.001+10:00

One more day...

I still have a job
But I don't have hope.

008 - Cody & Sarah

2008-09-28T23:31:00.001+10:00

Cody and I were playing today

He started coughing when we were playing chasy

He coughed and coughed
And then his Mum came out and took him away.

What's going on?

008 - Giselle

2008-09-28T23:30:00.001+10:00

It escalated quickly.
But I thought because I loved you it was okay.
I wanted it. You wanted it.

Too bad that doesnt change the consequences.

008 - Zara

2008-09-28T23:26:00.001+10:00

I cried for days.

And then something changed me.

My friend's wedding pictures came back.

And I saw the man I loved, and my best friend, smiling out from the pictures, so in love with each other.

And I stopped crying, picked myself up, and went out...

I'm determined to leave it all behind.

007 - Eliza

2008-09-27T19:08:00.001+10:00

I'm re-reading Les Miserables,
Working extra shifts,
And hoping I can see him again soon...

007 - Mark & Anna

2008-09-27T19:06:00.001+10:00

We got back the wedding photos today.
She is so gorgeous.
I still can't believe she picked me...

007 - Andrew

2008-09-27T19:03:00.002+10:00

More people getting let go...

Every day there's a couple more.

The company is in real trouble.

I had to be the one to tell some of them that they had no job anymore.
I hope they understood that the look of relief on my face

Was only because I lasted
One more day.

I don't want to get up tomorrow.

It's just another step closer to losing my whole world from under me.

First her,

now this.

What the hell am I going to do?

But I'm getting ahead of myself

maybe...maybe I'll be lucky...

007 - Cody & Sarah

2008-09-27T19:01:00.001+10:00

Cody didn't come over for two weeks.
Nobody explained to me why.

And then today he came over like nothing had happened.

I'm confused,
But I don't care coz he's here again.

007 - Giselle

2008-09-27T18:59:00.001+10:00

The real mistake though, was saying it back.

Just so you know, I MEANT IT even if you didn't.

007 - Zara

2008-09-27T18:57:00.002+10:00

The same as when I quit smoking.

Cold Turkey.

I went through everything I had that reminded me of him, and threw it out.
I felt empowered and strong.
Until the next morning when I woke up hungover,
And spent the whole day crying
For loss of memories.

006 - Eliza

2008-08-24T14:20:00.002+10:00

A guy came into the cafe today..

He reminded me of Ben a little bit...

He was very good looking,

But it was the book in his hands that caught my attention..

Les Miserables.

Looks AND a love of classic literature?
Surely not.

I went back to making coffee.

006 - Mark & Anna

2008-08-24T14:18:00.001+10:00

We got back from the honeymoon on Friday, and today I returned to work.

I STILL can't stop smiling,

knowing that she is at home waiting for me...

006 - Andrew

2008-08-24T14:15:00.001+10:00

They started letting go of people at the company today.

i'm too high up in the ladder...
Surely my job is secure..

006 - Cody & Sarah

2008-08-24T14:13:00.001+10:00

Cody didn't come over tonight.
I don't know why.

006 - Giselle

2008-08-24T13:46:00.002+10:00

I remember that day...

we were walking along the beach

you were holding my hand

you stopped,
looked me in the eyes seriously

and said those three words
that confused everything.

"I love you."

006 - Zara

2008-08-24T13:22:00.002+10:00

I should have found my answer long ago...

He loves her...
I can't possibly wish his love away from her and towards me.

But how do you do it?

How do you stop loving someone?

005 - Eliza

2008-08-11T22:35:00.001+10:00

If I shut my eyes tightly...

And turn my iPod up loud enough...

For a moment I leave this world...
And for a moment I find peace.

But the world always remains, when I get up the courage to open my eyes again.

005 - Mark & Anna

2008-08-11T22:32:00.002+10:00

Is it possible to love a person too much?

Because I would give my life...
and anything in it...

For her to be happy.

005 - Andrew

2008-08-11T22:28:00.002+10:00

Today I was too sick to go in to work,

So I sat on the computer, trying to occupy my mind.

I did a quiz that is meant to determine life expectancy.

I filled in question after question...

I eat right. Ten points.
I excercise. Ten points.
I dont smoke. Ten points.

I dont drink. Ten points.

I dont have unprotected sex. Ten points.

I drive safely and wear a seatbelt. Ten points.

I dont sleep. Minus ten points.

I am highly stressed. Minus ten points.

According to the test I should still live to 80.

But they forgot to ask if I wanted to live.

005 - Cody & Sarah

2008-08-11T22:25:00.001+10:00

I don't like school anymore.
There's too many people.

And too much work to do.

I just can't wait to get home so Cody can come over to play.

005 - Giselle

2008-08-11T22:19:00.002+10:00

Conversation grew.
Soon I was in love with you.
And those first sweet kisses were beautiful...
before the loss of our innocence.

005 - Zara

2008-08-11T22:08:00.002+10:00

This morning I woke up, ate a muffin, and went for a run.

I don't run.

But today I needed to run away from it all...

to run towards something.

I think maybe I'm a little closer to the answers...

004 - Eliza

2008-07-16T17:20:00.002+10:00

My mother always told me that my name meant "God's promise."
That's nice...
but what was His promise? And was it good?

I think it's referring to His promised wrath on mankind.

004 - Mark & Anna

2008-07-16T17:17:00.002+10:00

Note to self:

She looks cute when she's angry. She screws up her nose.

004- Andrew

2008-07-16T17:16:00.002+10:00

I got offered long service leave today.

I said no.

I'm an idiot...but I don't think i know who I am anymore if I'm not working.
I'm scared of spending more time in this silent, empty house...

And in this silent, empty life.

004 - Cody & Sarah

2008-07-16T17:14:00.003+10:00

A big kid at school was picking on me today, so Cody went up and hit him.
The kid hit him back and Cody started bleeding.
Luckily a teacher came just in time before the other kid hit him again.

But I have never felt more special =)

004 - Giselle

2008-07-16T16:44:00.002+10:00

We started going out almost every day.

We met for breakfast in that same cafe,
We walked along the beach,
We spent hours perusing second-hand book stores,
We sat and listened to buskers,
We walked in the rain...
And it was the best time of my life...

only because He was there.

004 - Zara

2008-07-16T16:16:00.002+10:00

I was going to go home with a guy I met at the wedding...
But I didn't.
And you know what...I'm glad I didn't.

I would've regretted it.

003 - Eliza

2008-07-05T16:18:00.002+10:00

People sometimes think I'm strange.

Maybe it's the blue hair.
Maybe it's the stud in my nose.
Maybe it's the occasionally strange outfits.

Maybe it's the fact that my fiance died.
Maybe it's the scars from when I wanted to join him...

But that was all a long time ago.
And I like being the strange one.

003 - Mark & Anna

2008-07-05T16:15:00.002+10:00

We went into a shop today...
She tried on so many different outfits, and told me to pick one.

She was frustrated that I couldn't.

I guess she thought I wasn't paying attention to her.

Truth is,

I couldn't tell the difference between any of them.
I was too captivated by her beautiful face.

003 - Andrew

2008-07-05T16:11:00.002+10:00

Work used to only be the way I got money
It meant I could do the things I loved so much...

Music
Basketball
Travel
Being with her

I haven't done any of those things for such a long time.

003 - Cody & Sarah

2008-07-05T16:09:00.003+10:00

Cody's sick at the moment.
I haven't seen him in forever!

I miss him.

003 - Giselle

2008-07-05T16:04:00.002+10:00

I was in Europe.
It was the beginning of my gap year.

I was sitting in a cafe...drinking coffee, and reading a book.

He came over and spoke to me...
We spoke about literature and music and the countries we'd visited...

I got lost in his eyes,
And He got my number.

And I guess you would call that the beginning.

003 - Zara

2008-07-05T15:58:00.002+10:00

The vows were so beautiful.

Most of the girls in the room cried,
I joined them.

But I think it's safe to say I was the only one that wasn't crying with happiness.

002 - Eliza

2008-07-01T15:10:00.002+10:00

I was working today.
I work at a little coffee shop by the beach.

And I saw ambulances.

Somebody drowned.
Actually they drowned themself.
Went out on a boat and jumped off tied to the anchor.

I don't know how I feel about that.

002 - Mark & Anna

2008-07-01T15:08:00.001+10:00

I woke up this morning and she was next to me.

She looks even more beautiful, if that's possible, when she's asleep.

I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

002 - Andrew

2008-07-01T15:06:00.003+10:00

My boss told me when I came here that I would have to make sacrifices.

"To make it big you need to let go of everything else."

Everybody else here echoes his words,
They act like they're fulfilled by all they've given up.

And sometimes I wonder if they're lives are as empty as mine.

002 - Cody & Sarah

2008-07-01T15:04:00.002+10:00

When we grow up we're going to get married.
And we're going to live in a big white castle with servants...

I'll wear beautiful ball gowns,
And we'll spend every moment together.

002 - Giselle

2008-07-01T15:01:00.002+10:00

Amy.

That's what I would have named her.

Please don't think I'm such a horrible person.
I mean...
Maybe I am...

But hear me out.

It all began a year ago.

002 - Zara

2008-07-01T14:49:00.003+10:00

It was about halfway through the vows when I realised how pathetic I was.

Two and a half years is a long time to be with someone.
Five years is longer.

But eight years...
The eight years I've loved him...

That's just sheer torture.

But she won.

001 - Eliza

2008-06-30T21:59:00.002+10:00

Eliza...

Energetic
Loved
Interesting
Zany
Apathetic

Sometimes all 5,

and sometimes none at all.

Today...

Today, I'm nothing.

001 - Mark & Anna

2008-06-30T21:55:00.002+10:00

Finally we're getting married...

Finally I can see her in that beautiful dress...

Finally she can wear the ring i picked out for her...

Finally we are one.

I am so in love with her,
And I can't wait for the rest of our lives together...

001 - Andrew

2008-06-30T21:50:00.004+10:00

I need to get away.

My head is spinning.

This job was such a good thing...
But it wasn't worth losing her...

I just wish I could leave my job as easily as she left me...

001 - Cody & Sarah

2008-06-30T21:47:00.003+10:00

What will be over the hill?

Maybe a castle with a dungeon...

Maybe an ocean full of mermaids and monsters...

Maybe a spaceship full of aliens...

But I'm not scared because he's here holding my hand...

001 - Giselle

2008-06-30T21:45:00.001+10:00

I did the right thing...
I know it.

So why do I feel so bad?

001 - Zara

2008-06-30T21:23:00.003+10:00

It was my best friend's wedding today.

We've been inseperable since primary school.

Been through everything from grazed knees to broken hearts...

I danced in blue.

She danced in white...

with him.

The Beginning...

2008-06-30T21:14:00.002+10:00

Welcome to my world of fiction...
nothing will be as it seems...

it will all flow from my imagination...

some of it will be inspired by reality...
and some of it will be completely made up...

And you will never know which is which...

These are my writings...

my Fiction.